My conversation with Jennifer Dukes Lee was such a pleasure. I know that everyone who listens will have a moment of a slice of our life, a slice of our conversation, our deepest thoughts, and our funny ones, too. I so appreciate Jennifer being here on the Behold-Her Beauty podcast, and I know you will love her, too. Join our intimate, candid, and ruthless self-discovery conversation in Episode 7 of “The Beauty in Ruthless Self-Discovery” by Jennifer Dukes Lee.
Jennifer is the author of “Stuff I’d Only Tell God: A Guided Journal of Courageous Honest, Obsessive Truth-Telling And Beautifully Ruthless Self-Discovery”. The publisher has given me a copy of “Stuff I’d Only Tell God” to give away. SCROLL DOWN for giveaway details.

The Beauty of Ruthless Self-Discovery –
What did we talk about? Jodie Foster would be a fantastic actress to play Jennifer, and for me, Deborah, Catherine Keener. We learned that we would both survive a Zombie apocalypse, and Deborah survived one (not literary, but while filming “The Crazies” in Jennifer’s hometown of Iowa) – imagine that!
We also shared about lipstick and bold color, soundtracks of our life (you’ll never believe it), bucket and anti-bucket lists, and why journaling is important and, importantly, why sharing your self-reflection with others is essential. Our sharing led to a deep conversation where we imparted our hearts about life’s “thin places” and how God brought us beautiful memories of Jennifer’s father and Deborah’s mother’s passing.
Join in on our intimate, candid, and ruthless self-discovery conversation and how journaling with “Stuff I’d only tell God” will help you get to know yourself and others.
Episode 7: Beauty in Ruthless Self-Discovery with Jennifer Dukes Lee
“Stuff I’d Only Tell God” is a journey in going deeper with the Lord and even our relationship with God takes time and we are slow-grown by God. Jennifer Dukes Lee #stuffidonlytellgod journaling #biblejournaling
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Episode Summary:
Deborah and Jennifer’s discussion revolved around beauty, self-discovery, and journaling. They also touched on the concept of ‘thin places’ and the importance of sharing spiritual moments. Jennifer shared her bucket list and travel aspirations, and they concluded by discussing the importance of music and self-discovery.
Beauty, Lipstick, and Self-Discovery
Deborah and Jennifer discussed beauty, focusing on the topic of courageous honesty and the beauty of ruthless self-discovery. They also shared their experiences and tips about lipstick, with Jennifer recommending a lipstick brand called Lipsense, known for its long-lasting formula. Deborah mentioned her preference for bold colors, and Jennifer shared her struggle to find the right lip color for her work as a professional makeup artist. They also reminisced about the fruity-flavored lip glosses of their childhood.
Journey of Growth: Jennifer’s Impact on Deborah and Others
Jennifer and Deborah discussed their experiences and the impacts of Jennifer’s work. Deborah expressed her gratitude for Jennifer’s influence on her life and work as a makeup artist. Jennifer shared that she took a class from Jennifer and found the ‘growing slow’ philosophy beneficial during a difficult time. The book is seen as a tool for spiritual growth and self-reflection, with Jennifer emphasizing that it’s not just an immediate, one-time read but a journey that could take months or even a year.
Zombie Apocalypse, Book Impact, and Survival Strategies
Jennifer and Deborah discussed their experiences and thoughts. The conversation touched on various topics, including a zombie apocalypse and the impact of Jennifer’s books on Deborah. Deborah shared that she had visited Lennox, Iowa, and even filmed there, which she saw as an opportunity to survive a zombie apocalypse. Deborah expressed how Jennifer’s book had helped her spiritually.
Journaling for Self-Reflection and Growth
Deborah and Jennifer discussed the value of journaling as a form of self-reflection and spiritual growth. She also mentioned that journaling can help individuals clarify their priorities and aspirations. The benefits of journaling, according to Jennifer, include reducing the need for perfection and providing a safe space for expressing one’s thoughts and emotions. The group also touched on gratitude journaling.
Relationships, Prayer, and Heavenly Musings.
Jennifer shared an analogy about her relationship with her husband, Scott, and how one can express their thoughts and feelings to deepen their relationship. The discussion also explored the concept of prayer to express gratitude and concern and seek resolution. Jennifer and Deborah further discussed their thoughts and dreams about heaven, prompted by questions in Jennifer’s journal. They also recommended Randy Alcorn’s book, “Heaven,” as a resource for understanding and contemplating the afterlife.
Journaling Fears and Management Options
Deborah and Jennifer discussed the journaling process and the fears it can bring up. Jennifer proposed various options for managing personal journals, from burning them to sharing them with a trusted friend or loved one. They also highlighted the importance of sharing one’s experiences and feelings with others to deepen relationships. The conversation concluded with the idea of journaling as a self-reflection tool and understanding relationships.
Exploring Thin Places
Jennifer and Deborah discussed the concept of ‘thin places’, where the veil between heaven and earth seems very thin, and people are more aware of God’s presence.
Spiritual Connection in Final Moments
Jennifer shared a personal experience about her father’s final moments, expressing her belief that it was a moment of spiritual connection. Jennifer described a moment when her father looked off into the distance and said, “It’s overwhelming,” but meant it positively. She interpreted this as her “Heavenly Father” assurance that he was with him.
Faith, Self-Discovery, and Authenticity
Deborah shared a personal story about her mother’s passing and how it led her to reconnect with her faith, mentioning a trip to Budapest and a spiritual realization. Jennifer emphasized the value of sharing personal experiences and self-discovery. The group also discussed the importance of journaling for self-discovery and authenticity. The conversation concluded with a focus on the value of deep, meaningful conversations.
Musical Phases and Movie Dreams
Jennifer and Deborah discussed the soundtrack of their lives, reflecting on the various musical phases they have gone through. Jennifer shared that her soundtrack is eclectic, ranging from 80s music to worship music and even jazz and classical piano due to her daughter’s influence. Jennifer mentioned her fondness for actress Jodie Foster and Deborah Catherine Keener, possibly suggesting they play Jennifer and Deborah in a movie.
Travel and Self-Discovery Bucket Lists
Jennifer shares her bucket list items, including visiting the Duomo in Florence and visiting the Holy Lands, while Deborah shares her travel bucket list, which involves travel. They also talk about the importance of journaling and self-discovery, with Jennifer encouraging listeners to start with gratitude and starting with a guided journal to get started.
“Stuff I’d Only Tell God” Book Giveaway – sign up here to be entered.

Favorite quotes from our conversation with Jennifer Dukes Lee –
You’re not meant to go through this journal in a day. This is something that maybe would take months or even a whole year to go through as you think about who you are in Christ and how who you are becoming as God slowly grows you.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
But when we sit down and write down our thoughts or type them out. You can type into a computer that counts as journaling too. When we do that, we’re not as Christians speaking or writing into an echo chamber, we are having a conversation with God. So, even though I might not say dear God, as I write I’m aware of His presence as the friend in the room who is guiding me and with me and as you say, peeling back the layers, because that process it’s painful enough with Jesus, it’d be unbearable without him. And so, this is a process of growing closer to God. When we self-reflect, which is something we don’t do a very good job of as humans, when we take time to self-reflect, that is where true growth begins.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
Self-reflection also gives us space to think about what do I want my life to look like? What are my priorities? What do I want my relationships to look like? What do I want people to remember me for when I’m not here? How can I be the light of Christ to a world in need? All of these things.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
We also see in the Psalms evidence of gratitude and thankfulness and remembrance. And that really is a very popular form of journaling that we see today, which are gratitude journals, where you take the time to write down the things that you’re thankful for.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
So, when we tell Him our stuff, we are saying, I want to be in relationship with you. I want to go deeper with you. So, it’s just in the same way that why do we pray? Like why do we do that? We pray because we have things that we’re hoping will get resolved. We pray because we’re troubled about things. We pray because we want to thank God for the goodness we see in our lives. And this is really, in a sense, the same concept just openness and growth with God.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
More quotes for you –
I find it so remarkable that God chose to bring us here as infants to learn everything over time, our physicality to grow in our intellectual space to grow in spirituality and maturity in everything, in integrity. We didn’t just come with all of that intact. And so instead He has us learn these things over the course of our lifetime, however long that may be.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
I have a whole section about heaven and what it might be like and what we dream about and the conversations that we want to have, who do we want to live on our cul de sac in heaven?
Jennifer Dukes Lee
I have seen already dating couples using this. People who are getting engaged, using this as a way to be like, hey, this is what it’s been like for me to be inside of me and this is what it’s been like for you to be inside of you. I know that parents are using it with teens around their dinner table. Many people gave it as a graduation gift for their teens to use and maybe alone, but also to do with their, with the parent. It would be great for married couples.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
I always knew about thin places and these are places where it seems like the veil between heaven and earth is very thin, like where you, you just sense that you’re somewhere sacred and that could be in like a cathedral. It could be in a place that is by its nature, a holy place or a house of God. And also, it could be a cathedral in the outdoors. It could be a moment on the side of a mountain. It could be beside a lake that’s meaningful to you; it could be in your own backyard. So, these places are where you have an awareness that God is near and He’s with you.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
Most people who are journalers from the Christian worldview are doing it out of connecting with God. And it’s the fruitful practice, not required by the Bible, but certainly modeled by authors of the Bible.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
There is value in just having fun. As Christians we can sometimes in our spiritual disciplines just take ourselves so incredibly seriously and God is fun and He’s funny. And Jesus did funny things and said funny things and had a sense of humor. And so like, we can just laugh a little bit and, you know, just let down our guards and sometimes like on my Instagram, the things that’ll get the most response or just the ridiculous, silly things that I put on there that just make people smile.
And the same is true of all of us. Just those little lighthearted moments. We need more of that in the world.
Jennifer Dukes Lee
References:
Lipsense Fire N Ice and use LipSense® Moisturizing Gloss to seal it
The Way Back To Ourselves Poetry Hour
MEET THE AUTHOR JENNIFER DUKES LEE

Jennifer Dukes Lee is a bestselling author, thinker, and question
asker from Iowa. Her friends say they are scared to sit alone in a room with
her because they end up telling her things they never intended to say. She is
both proud of this fact and also a little annoyed at how nosy she can be. She
put a bunch of her favorite questions into a journal called Stuff I’d Only Tell God.
It’s like your own little confession booth. She’s also the author of Growing Slow
and It’s All Under Control. Learn more at jenniferdukeslee.com.
If you need social media handles for Jennifer too, here those are:
- Website: jenniferdukeslee.com
- Instagram: @jenniferdukeslee
- Facebook: /JenniferDukesLee
- Pinterest: @dukeslee
- Twitter: @dukeslee
Remember, you are Beautiful!
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How does God see you?
Behold-Her Beauty seeks to help women see themselves as God’s beautiful daughters.
My whole life changed the day I realized that God sees me as His beautiful daughter. Not the distorted, flawed images I perceived, nor what others thought of me, and especially not what the world told me.
The benefits of seeing ourselves as God’s beautiful daughter are revolutionary and freeing. We no longer find our worth and approval in the world because God values and loves us.
Today, right now, know that you have permission to be beautiful as you embrace your already God-given beauty and live as God’s beautiful daughter.
- We are God’s masterpieces. God created each of us, His work of art, in Jesus Christ for good work, which God prepared beforehand (Ephesians 2:10).
- God made you in His image. “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:27 NKJV
- God chose you; you are His treasure and the apple of His eye. “But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.” 2 Thessalonians 2:13 NKJV
Embrace your God-given beauty and live without shame, bitterness, and self-condemnation.
I have put together 10 ways to reclaim your God-given beauty.
Start today by meditating on the Scripture in each declaration section. I like to write the Scripture verse in my journal and then pray about what God is teaching me. Then, do one of the action steps in each section.
You have permission to be beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and our Beholder is God.
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i remember when Jennifer hosted a great big blog link-up back in the day. i loved hearing about the highlights of your conversation, Deborah …
Hi Linda, Tell His Story I think it was. I am happy you enjoyed reading the highlights. I hope you listen or watch.
It sounds like you, Deborah and Jennifer, had a delightful time together! I have never heard of lipsense, but I thank you for the recommendation. May you both have a wonderful Christmas!
Hi Lisa, Yes it was nice. I need to pick this lipstick up too. Mary Christmas to you.
I’ve set this podcast up to listen to when I’m on my treadmill later today! Jennifer is so wise and lovely—it sounds like you had a fabulous conversation. Thanks for sharing! Stopping by from #letshavecoffee ?.
Laura, I love to listen to podcasts on my eliptical – perfect time. Jennifer is wise and lovely and I am so grateful she joined me.I hope you enjoy our conversation. Blessings to you.
What a wonderful episode Debbie. This is so insightful and encouraging.
Thanks so very much for sharing this episode with Sweet Tea & Friends this month dear friend.
Paula, thank you for listening. I learned so much too as body image is something I struggle with. Merry Christmas!